“Hi!”
It’s the mid-days of the first semester in Senior year. I am home for the much awaited Independence day holidays (every gov holiday is much awaited by hostel students :p) and the computer resource is back and hence we have here, a blog post. The extract of this post is something everyone would have come across. I just happened to notice it!. So why a post about it suddenly?!. Well, partially because I’m concerned and the rest is because it’s comical :D
“History!” is the subject I hated the most until majors MPC came in higher secondary!. I couldn’t help but rage about the fact that the British ruled us for years.(Pucca Indian! But what am I to do about it now?!). I still remember the two-hour-long special class I had for History back in school. We were in the end of the lesson, “The history of Indian Independence!”. The two hour lecture had our ma’am explain the late 1946 incidents as the British were considering about letting India free, after various revolts and revolutions thou’. As the lesson ended saying, “ India was declared it’s Independence at 12.00am, August 15th 1947”. Everyone bore a mixed feeling of happiness and patriotism in their face as if we have fought Inida’s Independence ourselves. Proud, you know. And then came the constitution and now the country is overlooking development . So why din’t Indians think of revenge?!. Maybe they are too nice?! Nope. They did. How?! Language.
“British English” has got it’s own standard and reputation. You don’t have to be graduated from Oxford University to know that. Watching Potter films will prove it better. But how we Indians play with it?! I would say curse it infact. I am talking about the pronunciation part.
“Excuse me, Sir!” sounds formal and it’s definitely something a sophisticated person will use. But recently it has changed to calling out, “Saaar!... Saar!..” until the prof turns and then signaling with facial expression as to inform the prof that he has to come in. What is it?! A park in which lovers speak with their eyes?. Hold that. Did you notice “Sir!” has changed to “Saaaar!” >_< Guess all these words are included in the dictionary of Tunglish (A tamilian’s English).
The ‘a’ Factor :
Mahn! The pronunciation of ‘a’. “Pour it in a glass beaker” changes to “Pour it in ‘yea’ glass beaker”. Say it once more. You’ll experience the awkwardness. It goes like this, “Looks like it’s yea beautiful day!”. Crap!
The oval pronunciation:
The way your lips move gives your accent and an accent is very important for clear communication. I don’t now whether it is by default, but in all cases when your lips should take an oval shape one uses “a” (:p) flattened elliposoidal (a>b) shape :D The “sta” pronunciation of “stand” is used for a “stapler”. Hope you get it. But can’t help even if you get the earlier one wrong!.
Correct for all wrongs!:
Though there are some words which I hear correctly. Yeah they are the swear words, obviously. I mean, I haven’t heard a single soul mispronounce the word “F***” in a wrong way. Neither does stupid nor idiot. Anyother cheap words that is.
Attack in North India:-
It’s known all over that a typical North Indian suck at conversing in English. But when they do… ROFLMAO| :D They tumble and bumble when they speak. ‘What’ turns ‘Wad’ though all the ‘b’ words fall in correctly. ‘Bring’, ‘ball’… but ‘pool’ is always ‘bool’. Hahahahaha :D I wonder why?! Because the Northern part of India was the most affected under British rule?!. Maybe.
Southies!!
Ah! The Mallus. No offence!. A thousand examples strike me or exambles, I should say :p They are famous for their pronunciations in words like “auto!”, “chocolates”. You would know If you’ve had a Malayali friend. Oce I received a fwd which said, “ A mallu officer ordered the business man to pay his ‘Ingum’ Tax!!!”. *laughter* English in Tamil nadu is not any less. I see a lot around myself, here, where I currently live. “Pants” are called “Fants” (In what world! Wth!!!) No comments. But if I should, Pathetic!! L
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| ENGLISH! Thats is how it is spelt! |
When we just smirk or giggle after hearing a word pronounced a wrong way we lose the seriousness. But if you do take the courage to correct them, then the tag “PETER” (poor English man whom neither of us know!) follows. But one improves as one practices. I learnt that from experience. Even now when I sit back to listen to a lecture or a friends’ conversation and sense awkwardness of language I just keep quiet. Not because of cowardness. I like revenge. I say to myself, “The british have screwed us for years. But, now, we screw their language EVERYDAY!. Sweet revenge! No violence.”.
The only perfect word which anyone would find easy to go with, is the word which starts this post J!.
Happy Independence Day is too british!. So here it is!
Jai Hind!
Swetha Ananthan,
Indian.
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